How To Bottom: A Beginner’s Guide to Gay Anal Sex!

Bottom-shaming is a thing, and for some reason, us bottoms who prefer the pleasure of receiving during gay anal sex are frequently categorized as weak, typically by the grossly misinformed public. Well, I know that feeling sucks, and we have toxic masculinity to blame for that – but this should not put you off exploring the joys of how to bottom and gay anal sex!

I want you to know that asides from being in control in bed, you are going to gain insane pleasure. Do not be surprised; bottoming is a great gateway to wonderful rounds of orgasms. It would be unfair not to add the fact that bottoming, if done wrongly, can be painful and risky, but sex, in general, can be quite messy, so that should not discourage you at all.

There is a great pleasure to be derived from offering your asshole, but it can only be derived if done properly. It is impossible not to get your rocks off while inviting penetration. Asides from having a wonderful chunk of meat rubbing against the walls of your rectum, your penis is also going to enjoy some of the friction, so you should see why you should totally try out bottoming.

Now, before you yank your shorts off to get some goodies, there are things you need to know about bottoming, especially as a first-timer.

First times during anal sex can be quite challenging, do not buckle your belt yet; there are ways you can have a delicious experience. The first thing you need to know is that your asshole is not made out of elastic band, so you might want to consider choosing a moderate dick size. The hugeness of your partner’s penis does not guarantee pleasure. When having anal sex for the first, you do not have the luxury of being shy. Speaking up to your partner about how you feel is extremely important. So if you feel that cock is destroying your honey pot, use your words!

Lastly, the time to practice the stuff you have seen in porn is not when having anal sex for the first time. Do not go about screaming “destroy me!” because some men would actually follow your words to the letter. If you want to make your first time memorable, you have to clear your head and get your sexy ass in the game! 

How Can I Bottom Safely?

This question bogs the mind of a good number of gay men. Bottoming is a wonderful act, but as delicious as it is, safety is a crucial priority. The good thing is that you do not need to sacrifice your pleasure to keep your health safe. There are important facts you need to know to make that happen.

The anus has bacteria. Just like the vagina, the anus has bacteria living inside it. They could easily spread to places bacteria should not be in, like your mouth and eyes. To protect your health, you need to clean up thoroughly after sex. I know having your partner’s penis in your mouth feels wonderful, but it is safer to clean that meat up first. Thoroughly wash anything that comes in contact with your asshole, including hands, penis or sex toys. 

The tissues inside the anus are very sensitive. They are more sensitive than the ones outside. The tissue on the inside is thinner and more prone to tearing. Tears in the anus create a greater risk for STIs and infections. Illness-causing bacteria can be transmitted through tears. It does not feel great to break down after having mind-blowing sex, so always keep your lube and condom close.

The anus does not lubricate itself. The anus lacks natural wetness. Lube is a safety and pleasure must-have. Lube is your best friend! It helps with safe penetration and reduces tears or bruises. I would advise you to choose silicone lubes; they work better. So when having anal sex, use lots of lube.

This is often a shocker, but the anus has a muscle that needs to relax to allow comfortable penetration. This muscle is called the sphincter, and you have to appease it if you want to enjoy fucking. Greasing the butt helps. Relaxing the sphincter is possible by just relaxing your body. Taking a hot shower or bath before sex also helps. You could train your butt to get used to the sensation of penetration as well. 

How To Prepare For Bottom Sex

The first thing you need to know is that you are important. If you are not enjoying the sex, then it is not worth it. Your pleasure is number one! Take away every worry from your mind. Relax, take a hot shower, and have a glass of wine if you need to.

Just make sure your body is in the mood for some action.

Clean up before sex. You can wash the outside of your anus thoroughly with only water, or you can wash up with a mild soap. It is totally normal to worry about poop showing its ugly face during sex, so you can consider an enema. An enema gives your rectum a deep cleaning. You should also gear your partner to keep his nails short. Bacteria can hide under dirty fingernails, making you vulnerable to illness when your partner fingers you. 

Check your diet. We are what we eat. Yes, this phrase is right, especially during sex. Eating high-fiber foods like broccoli, whole grains, and beans. They could just be the magic you need to keep poop inside you. Foods like this regulate bowel movements. They bulk up stool and minimize liquidity. There is less chance of leaving a crime scene on your partner’s bed when you choose the right meal.

Foreplay. It is not a great idea to just have your partner rip your underwear and shove his penis into you; this could lead to tears and abrasion. If your anus is highly contracted while being penetrated, you will not feel pleasure. So this is the reason why you should play off each other to relax. Sex toys are wonderful in this aspect.

Have your partner stick a finger into you if possible; it is better to start with the small things. He could use softer latex toys on you too. Rimming could also be helpful. Think about it, what is hotter than having your partner’s tongue sticking up your ass? You can allow your partner to eat you out until your anus is well relaxed. 

Use protection! As much as taking a raw dick sounds more exciting. Making your partner wear a condom during sex keeps you on the safe side. The easiest way out of getting infected with STIs or HIV is by using protection during sex. Most gay dudes think that condom robs them of pleasure, but this is not true. It is important to choose the right condom to avoid incidents like condom breakage.

It is better to pick adequate water or silicon-based condoms; friction during sex can degrade latex condoms. 

Apply lube. I cannot say this enough. Nothing guarantees mind-blowing sex like lube. Choose a good lube and use lots of it. As I said earlier, the anus is not self-lubricant. Before allowing your partner to thrust his penis inside you, make sure he applies lube to your entrance.

He could even tease you with his fingers making you relax and hornier. It is advisable to use water-based, silicone, or hybrid lube. There are no restrictions on how you use your lube, so you can reapply as needed. 

Penetration. This is the most exciting part. It is easier when your partner lubricates the tip of his penis. Sex feels better when he pushes into you slowly; this allows you to relax and enjoy the sex more. It also helps to seat on your partner; you can control the penetration that way; I enjoy sex better that way; you should try it.

Take it slow. It is totally fine to take your time with gay anal sex. Actually, we encourage it. Sex is not as perfect as the porn or Onlyfans boys you might have watched. There is a chance you could experience pain upon being penetrated. You can ask your partner to pause and take it slow. If it is your first time, you are likely to feel a sharp pain upon penetration, but it will wear out in seconds.

Contracting your anus or pushing outwards after your partner inserts his penis helps. Bearing down also allows your anal muscles to elongate and adapt to changing dick sizes. If your top is huge, he will feel less resistance. You can also masturbate alone or with your partner before penetration and engage in your favorite non-penetrative move, like blowjobs or dry humping.

Making use of your finger or toy before penetration also relaxes the sphincter. 

Talk to your partner. Communication is key, even in sex. Being gay does not mean your partner must automatically like your fantasies. Let him know what you like and know his opinions about it. For instance, your partner might not be a fan of a certain gay sex position, but talking would help you both choose a better position. 

Check-in on your partner. It does not hurt to ask if he likes the action in between moans. Checking in on your partner can be very sexy. 

Poop is inevitable. You should accept that there will likely be poop involved. Even after douching and generously cleaning that place up, there is a possibility of poop showing its ugly face. This is quite normal when you are poking around back there. It’s absolutely natural. Although the rectum is designed to keep poop high up there until it is time for a bowel movement, you can get see some of it after a good fucking. So it helps it lay some sheet or a towel on the bed or wherever you are getting your rocks off to keep any mess discreet.

Sex is very messy, and anyone who thinks it isn’t is just fooling himself do not get so worked up over what your partner thinks. If you worry too much about poop showing up during sex, you might shock your system into an anxiety-ridden state which will negatively affect you. I mean, what is sex if you do not enjoy it?

Clean up after sex. Cleaning up properly after anal sex is very important because you could get an infection or become ill. Bacteria live in the anus, which can cause great harm if it enters the mouth or eyes. You can shower with mild soap. Wash the outside of your anus gently. Do not scrub to avoid cuts or abrasions if you and your partner used sex toys. You can wash them with soap and water. Then, you can leave them to dry at a regular temperature.

Please, it is not necessary to douche after sex, as excessive use of enemas can be very harmful to your health. A hot shower is enough to make you clean in there.

Get in position. Finding a comfortable position during sex is very important to how pleasurable it would be. There are different sex positions but below are the positions most suitable for bottoms…

Best Sex Positions For Bottoms

There are many sexual positions for bottoms, but for those still new to gay anal sex (or wanting maximum pleasure), we recommend you try these sex positions for bottoms first.

Reverse cowboy. You can be in control in this position. While being on top of your partner, you can determine how deep the penetration is. The pace also depends on your taste. This position is totally cool for first-timers. Just make sure to use enough lube.

Doggy style. Involves you being on your fours while your partner gives it to you from behind. This position is perfect for anal sex because it allows your partner easy access to your asshole. You, in turn, get to raise or lower your bottom.

Missionary. This style works well for gay anal sex. Imagine your partner staring deep into your eyes while giving you a good pounding. Trust me; nothing beats that feeling. This position works best when you use a pillow or wedge to adjust the angle of entry.

Reverse missionary. Having your partner lie on your back while ramming into you is another delicious position. The sensation of your partner’s groin rubbing against your butt does wonders.

Spooning. Your partner’s leg thrown over yours while having sex could be just what you need to enjoy bottoming. This is a wonderful position you should totally try out.