Skip to Content

What Is Gay Bottoming And Lessons On How To Take It Like A Pro!

What Is Gay Bottoming And Lessons On How To Take It Like A Pro!

Wondering what is gay bottoming? Well, don’t worry – we have all been there and know that sex, any type of sex, can seem daunting to a beginner. Sure, you can rip off your clothes – or even just your pants – and dive into bed with the first available partner, but do you really want your first sexual experience to be characterized by amateur gripping and fumbling? Who knows, it just might set the tone for sex for the rest of your life.

Superstition aside, you really don’t want to start off your sexual journey on such a note (and without knowing what is gay bottoming). Once you start to associate sex with unpleasantness, you may have a hard time getting rid of that trauma. Trust us; we are speaking from experience here. As such, you should take steps to make sure your first time absolutely blows your mind.

Even if you have had the misfortune of a mediocre first-hand experience, it’s never too late to remedy it. In this article, we’re going to focus on first-time gay sex, specifically bottoming. Gay bottoming can be defined (in a gay sense) as being on the penetrative end of anal sex. The person doing the penetration is known as the ‘top’. The top usually penetrates with their penis, especially in the context of gay sex, but a dlido or other sex toy can be used.

gay bottoming -bottom gay meaning -gay men bottom -gay bottom meaning -being a gay bottom

Outside a sexual context, the idea of having something inserted into your asshole doesn’t seem pleasurable. Prostate exams and enemas are definitely not on the list of most relaxing things ever but throw in some low lighting and romantic music, and things get hot real fast.

Seriously though, there are a few things you can do to bottom successfully – and enjoyably. It’s less about the skill, and more about the actions you take, both before and after the act itself. Unfortunately, most men don’t know this, and some of them are reluctant to ask questions. Sex talk is hardly casual chitchat. It’s also hard to know which information is legit, and which one applies to you.

The best thing is to find a trustworthy source of information, and since we consider ourselves one of those, you can be sure we’re going to give you the best possible advice about what is gay bottoming…

gay bottoming -bottom gay meaning -gay men bottom -gay bottom meaning -being a gay bottom
The Works: Elastic Harness + Briefs + Socks Set On Sale Now At Queer In The World Shop

The Pleasures Of Bottoming

If you’re one of those who hasn’t bottomed before, you might be wondering what’s so great about it (and how to bottom). Well, we’re going to give you the scientific breakdown. Roughly 2-3 inches inside the anus lies the prostate. It’s a walnut-sized gland that’s often known as the male g-spot. It contains pleasurable nerve endings that can cause men to orgasm with proper stimulation.

The prostate orgasm is said to be one of the most intense orgasms men can ever experience. Even men who do not consider themselves bottoms can enjoy prostate stimulation with fingers or a number of sex toys. There is some stigma attached to anal play for gays who consider themselves exclusively tops but once a guy can get past that, there’s a whole world of pleasure waiting to be explored.

Now that you’ve found out why bottoming feels so good, you’re probably eager to try it. Stories can make it seem like all you need is spit and a condom, but there’s a lot more to it than that. To make gay bottoming for the first time a truly blissful experience, here are some things you should do.

gay bottoming -bottom gay meaning -gay men bottom -gay bottom meaning -being a gay bottom

Prepare Yourself Beforehand

With the aid of your hands or fingers, you can stretch out your anal sphincter, because, let’s be honest, a dick being the first thing you stick into your ass won’t be much fun. You don’t need to just lie down and stick a butt plug or your fingers up your ass.

First, you can put on some sexy music and light a scented candle or two. Porn or erotica can help get you in the right mood. If you’re using your fingers, make sure your nails are cut short and properly cleaned to prevent any injuries or infections. Long nails can scape and bruise your delicate anal walls. Sex toys should be properly sterilized. If you’re using a dildo or vibrator and you’re not sure how clean it is, you can cover it with a condom.

Use generous amounts of water-based lube (silicon-based lube can damage silicone toys and condoms). Lube up the toy (or your hands) and your asshole. Make sure whatever toy you’re using has a flared base to prevent it from getting stuck in your ass. You’ll have a hard time explaining that one at the ER. Start with as small a toy as you possibly can. If you can splurge, purchase a set of dilators, so you’ll have no trouble going up a size. Inserting the toy should come with some mild discomfort, but if you experience significant pain, stop at once.

Once you’ve got the toy in, work it in and out of your body gently, adding twisting motions if they feel good. You should be really in tune with your body as you do this. Observe which movements, angle of penetration, etc., bring you the most pleasure. Ideally, you should repeat this exercise two or three times a week, increasing the side of the toy every two weeks.

When you can comfortably take a toy that’s about the side of a dick, then you’re ready to bottom. This will go a long way toward ensuring that your first time is pleasurable.

gay bottoming -bottom gay meaning -gay men bottom -gay bottom meaning -being a gay bottom

Know Your Strengths

This regular self-exploration can lead you to discover what you love. You might find that your prostate is set a little further back or that you require a certain method of stimulation.

In the process, you can also find out which toys do it for you and which ones are a miss. You and your partner can then incorporate this into sex.

Communicate With Your Partner

So much about enjoying sex depends on the painter you have. However, your partner can only work with the amount of information you’ve given them. There’s nothing like TMI in this situation. Talk to them about what makes you feel good. Discuss everything from the type of lube to the style you prefer. A lot of awkwardness can be avoided with proper communication. E

ven during the act, you both can still be talking, checking up on each other to find out if you’re both enjoying yourself. Once a partner indicates that they want to stop, the other should comply at once. Remember, consent is essential, should be enthusiastic, and can be withdrawn at any point.

gay bottoming -bottom gay meaning -gay men bottom -gay bottom meaning -being a gay bottom

Safe Sex

Sex is great, but you know what’s even greater? Safe sex. The gay community is intimately acquainted with the dangers of not practicing safe sex, and within the community, there is a rigorous standard that should be adhered to prevent the transmission of STIs. One of the cheapest and most accessible ways of practicing safe sex is to use a condom. No jokes, guys; we’re judging you extra hard if you’re in your hoe era and you don’t use one.

There are literally no downsides to them, and you can explore different flavors and textures, so condoms being boring is not an excuse. There are also internal condoms that a bottom can wear instead of the top. If you’re in a faithful, committed and monogamous relationship, though, you don’t necessarily need to use one. Otherwise, keep a stash handy in your nightstand, your car, your glove box, etc.

Notice how we didn’t say your wallet? That’s because condoms stored in the wallet have a high chance of getting punctured and so are not safe for use. And speaking of condom myths, please don’t rip condom packets open with your teeth. It’s great for the show, but in reality, you run the risk of ripping or tearing the condoms themselves. Inspect your condom stash regularly and throw out any that look damaged or that have expired.

gay bottoming -bottom gay meaning -gay men bottom -gay bottom meaning -being a gay bottom

If you insist on flirting with danger and not using a condom, ask your doctor about PreP (Pre-exposure prophylaxis). Drugs like Truvada can be taken beforehand to avoid contracting HIV in the event of exposure to the virus. If you suspect you’ve been exposed to the HIV virus without any form of protection, visit the nearest health center to ask for PeP (Post-exposure prophylaxis). Take regular STD tests, and if any come back positive, commence treatment as soon as possible. Any disease you leave untreated can cause long-term health issues like infertility and even cancer. Encourage your partners to take tests as well.

PreP works for HIV, and a condom is a barrier against other infections like Syphilis and Gonorrhoea, but there are still infections that can be contracted through intercrural (crotch-to-crotch) contact, so you and your partner must maintain a certain level of hygiene. Take a shower before you have sex, and make sure your toys are clean. Make sure your bed – or your partner’s bed – has clean sheets as well. Hygiene is necessary for enjoyable sex.

This one seems obvious, but open communication about other partners should be had, especially if you have had sex with one particular person regularly. Take precautions with all your partners, even one-night stands, to avoid catching and spreading something.

condom - gay bottoming -bottom gay meaning -gay men bottom -gay bottom meaning -being a gay bottom

Preparing For Gay Bottoming

Before you bottom for the first time, there are some things you can do to prepare yourself. Like we’ve mentioned before, get used to the feeling of something in your ass well beforehand. Stock up on supplies like lube, condoms, and every other thing that you think might make things more fun. You can buy chocolates, candles, flowers and other stuff to help set the mood.

Do some research beforehand, so you’ll at least have an idea of the best gay sex positions and what goes where. If you have a particular partner you want to try bottoming with, ask them if they’ve got any particular thing that turns them on and incorporate it into your plans.

We’ve also mentioned hygiene before, and many gays bottoming for the first time might have concerns about what the top will find in there, so to speak. There are few guys that haven’t experienced the embarrassing accident of painting (leaving streaks of poop on a partner’s dick). Have anal sex enough times, and it’s something you’ll have to deal with as well. It’s not the end of the world, and nothing a quick shower cannot fix, but it’s understandable if you don’t want it to happen during your first time. To avoid it and other bowel accidents, a bottom can try douching.

Douching is the process of squirting water – or another liquid – up your ass in order to clean it out. It is also called an enema. Douching kits are also everywhere, from pharmacies – where they may be called enema kits – to Amazon. Some of them usually come with fluids, but we advise that you use water, as those fluids can cause irritation due to repeated use. The water can be at room temperature or, at best, slightly warm. The hotter the water, the higher the risk of scalding your insides.

gay bottoming -bottom gay meaning -gay men bottom -gay bottom meaning -being a gay bottom

Take it from us; it’s not fun. Douching can be done with a shower nozzle, but you have to be extra careful about the pressure of the water. Too much pressure can cause serious injuries. Douche with extreme discretion. Too much douching can upset your pH and the delicate microflora in your anus. It can also cause microtears, leading to discomfort and increasing your risk of getting infections. To avoid excess douching, incorporate fruits and vegetables into your diet. A diet rich in fiber reduces the need for douching.

It’s best to try bottoming with a top that has some experience. Of course, two newbies can learn together, but one partner having some experience makes things easier. When the time comes, the best thing the bottom can do is relax. Take deep, full breaths and try not to panic or clench up, even when you get the urge to. Clenching can cause injuries and make the tops work harder. Instead, try to relax and bear down. You should feel full but not in pain. Once you feel like something’s wrong, inform the top, so he will stop at once. Unlike the vagina, the asshole does not have any natural lubricant, so use a lot of lube. Remember to put some on the condom as well.

For a first-time bottom, gentle thrusting is important. The top should go as slowly as possible. Some bottoms may prefer a position like the Cowboy/Cowperson position, which allows them to control the depth, speed and angle of penetration. In this way, they can decide what works best for them.

Prostate stimulation is often the main aim of anal sex, but that may not be enough to bring the bottom to orgasm. Also, in spite of all the preparation, anal penetration for the first time may not be all that pleasurable. That doesn’t mean the sex should be disappointing. Stimulation of the bottom’s dick and nipples is also encouraged, as is kissing. Toys like nipple clamps and vibrators can also make for more memorable sex.

One doesn’t necessarily have to be a bottom to have anal sex. Although they are still some gay men that like to put themselves into distinct categories and stay there, many are still open to new experiences. Even if you consider yourself a top, you might like to try bottoming, if only to be able to empathize with and relate to bottoms more and thus become a better top. Even if it turned out that bottoming is not for you, you’d have at least gotten a great orgasm out of it. We don’t see any downsides to it.

gay bottoming -bottom gay meaning -gay men bottom -gay bottom meaning -being a gay bottom
Shop Gay Underwear Sale Now At Queer In The World Shop