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What Does It Mean To Be Top Or Bottom? And Other Gay Sex Questions Answered.

What Does It Mean To Be Top Or Bottom? And Other Gay Sex Questions Answered.

 There could have been a time when you thought your heart would explode with excitement after finding the perfect sexy gentleman on Grindr; after going through his bio, your excitement dies when you notice a little line: “total top” or “complete bottom“…

You know these phrases have to do with his sexual preferences, but you can’t wrap your head around the top and bottom meaning just as you become confused when your friends refer to someone as a total top. It is not weird that you still don’t fully understand what it means to be top, bottom, vers, or side during gay sex. These terms could be too much to grasp, so I have defined them in the easiest way.

Top, bottom, vers, and side are sexual terms peculiar only to the gay community. Although the terms top and bottom have been around for a while, their meaning has evolved. Before, gay folks used the words top and bottom to describe sexual position and authority. Now, the meaning has a little bit more personality to it. These days, a top is a person who loves to be in control and loves to penetrate. For instance, if a guy is a stone top, he enjoys doing all of the touching and hates reciprocal intimacy.

top and bottom meaning

A bottom is someone who loves being penetrated. This does not mean a bottom cannot fuck his partner, but he would rather have his honey pot blown out. While vers is that guy who can handle both positions. He takes a dick just as well as he gives it.

Sides are just so unique. Sides have only recently been recognized as a part of the gay family. These men enjoy every other aspect of sex like oral, touching, and licking except the penetration part. Side gay dudes do not enjoy anal sex. This has been an issue for most gay men; who the hell does not love having a dick inside of them? Well, these men don’t. Most sides feel insecure because of the way the gay society perceives them. 

After a detailed understanding of top and bottom meaning and these other sexual terms, one must know how to enjoy these sexual positions. Below are tips and sex styles to help you discover and make the most of your sexual preference.

top and bottom meaning
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How To Enjoy Being A Top

Like I said earlier, a top is someone who enjoys being at the center of the action. However, it is possible to receive orders while doing the penetration. So if you are going to enjoy topping, you have to know your partner’s boundaries and sexual identity as well. You cannot expect a “power bottom” to take orders from you because although he is receiving the pounding, he will be in control. 

How To Top During Sex

You first need to know that there is no perfect way to top. So, it helps to relax and take a deep breath. If you are going to enjoy topping, you need to talk to your partner. Find out what he likes and enjoys.

Topping cannot be difficult if he is a submissive bottom who enjoys taking orders. Please get to know what his boundaries are as well. Topping is delightful. The sensation of your cock rubbing against the warm walls of a man’s asshole is enough to drive any gay man crazy. While fucking your partner, it is vital to check in with him.

Make sure he is not experiencing pain, as penetration can be painful. And if he ever asks you to stop, please stop immediately. The fact that you are a top does not mean you have to become an asshole. 

Sex Styles To Try Out As A Top

If you intend to have the time of your life, then you should try these sex styles. You can’t last minutes if you try these positions.

Doggy. After all, there is nothing sweeter than watching your cock slide in and out of a wet asshole. This position makes it so easy to penetrate your partner. All you need is your cock and some lube. Have your partner go on all fours, get behind him, then align your cock with his asshole. You can throw in a spank here and there. You know you are winning when your partner moans. 

Standing. This is for you if you love hard fucks. This is a very nasty sex style; its success depends on your height, body structure, and dick size. This position works fine if your bottom is a little shorter than yours. When you both are comfortable, you can slide into him slowly, giving him enough time to adjust. Then, you can grab his waist and fuck his brains out. I assure you your bottom is never going to forget your name. 

Legs in the air. You should try this position if you want to go deep. It involves holding your partner’s legs back or putting them over your shoulders while pounding him. Sex is more enjoyable if your partner is flexible.

top and bottom meaning

How To Enjoy Being A Bottom

One sweet thing about being the bottom is that you are at the receiving end of sex. So, you will surely enjoy bottoming better if you are more submissive. You do not need to be in control to enjoy the sex.

However, you are still a bottom if you enjoy telling your top what you want to do during sex or if you enjoy belittling your partner by teasing him with your body or words. Setting boundaries before penetration helps you to enjoy it. Tell your partner things you do not find comfortable.

How To Bottom During Sex

 Relaxing is vital because penetration can be painful at first, especially if you have never bottomed before. Take a deep breath and relax the muscles around your butthole. It is okay to explore as well. You can try masturbating with your partner.

Sex toys are also a good idea. You can mess around with butt plugs before penetration. It helps you to become ready and open. If your partner hates lube, then know you are in trouble. Penetration is much easier when there is lube. Have a lube ready for your partner.

And while everyone is different, we recommend understanding the concept of gay douching and products like Pure For Men beforehand.

Sex Styles To Make You Enjoy Bottoming

Having a dick buried inside you is delicious, but it could be more delicious if you fuck the right way. These are sex styles to help you enjoy bottoming. 

Missionary. This seems quite old school, but trust me; missionary is the sweetest thing. Looking into your partner’s eyes while his cock slides in and out of you can make you orgasm fast. You can even jerk him off as he fucks you. One notable fact is that you do not have to do much; all you need to do is lie on your back, spread your legs and let your partner do the work.

Spooning. This is a hopelessly romantic position. The sensation of your partner’s hot breath fanning your neck while fucking you is unmatched. This position involves lying on your side with your partner lying behind you. You can raise one leg to give your top better access to your asshole. Sex is even sweeter with your partner whispering sweet nothing into your ears while fucking your brains.

Cowgirl. This sex style is perfect for bottoms. You can get to control the depth of the penetration. I love this style because you can fuck yourself the way you like. You make your partner sit on a chair or lie on his back. You could hold on to his shoulders for support while riding away.

top and bottom meaning

How To Enjoy Being A Vers

Well, the idea is to enjoy the best of both worlds. If you a Vers, you can enjoy taking dick and giving it. Being vers is lovely because you enjoy cock in every thinkable way. There are countless sex positions for vers to enjoy. Since being vers involves switching roles during sex, the most important thing to know is sweet tips to help you perfect both roles like a master.

How To Switch During Sex

Firstly, you need to understand your energy in bottoming and topping. This helps you to please your partner better. You cannot bring dominating top energy while bottoming, and your partner could get turned off. So, it is better to talk to your partner about giving orders and what he can do to you during sex. If you intend to be a good boy during sex, you should focus more on your partner. All you should be thinking of while fuckin is how to please him. 

What Sex Positions Do Vers Enjoy Most?

The joy about being vers is that you can enjoy any position, from cowboy to doggy to on the side. As long as it is a sex style, you can enjoy it… So why not make the most of your freedom and trial these gay sexual positions to see which one you love best.

top and bottom meaning

How To Enjoy Being A Side

Now, this is one of the most controversial members of the gay society. What can I enjoy if I do not like having a cock inside me? This is a question gay man wants an answer to. Enjoying sex as a side can be tricky, mainly when your people judge you. So this is why the first step to having a swell time is communication. Yes, tell that hunk you do not like being penetrated. If he does not like it, he can leave. A man walking away from you is better than walking home with a battered anus. If you are lucky and he wants to bang you, you must get your orgasm. 

69. Who doesn’t love this position? Even tops, bottoms, and vers dig this position. The sensation of you and your partner sucking each other off simultaneously is out of this world. I promise you there is no feeling more remarkable than it. Enjoying this position relies heavily on getting into a perfect 69 position. This can be very tricky, and there are various ways to do it.

If you are a regular at the gym, you might want to choose the athletic position. This involves having your partner lie on his back with his face up while you lay on top of him in a push-up position. Make sure your dick is aligned with his mouth. Your dick should also align with his mouth. Then you can fuck his mouth from above.

This position is right for you if you share the same height as your partner. You both should lay side by side. A top-to-tail position so that your faces are in front of each other’s cock. This way, you both can suck each other as much as you like. One good thing about this position is that it does not involve exerting strength, so you and your partner can have each other’s dicks in your mouths until the next day.

Different heights? No worries, I have a suitable position for you. If you are the taller guy, you must curve your body into a V shape. This will help your bits fall into the right place so your partner can gain easy access to your cock.

Rimming. This is a dear friend to sides. Men love to be eaten out. You can ask your partner to kneel just like in doggy style, or he can sit over your face. You can choose any position you like and eat away. This is a sure way to make your partner scream for more. The anus has hundreds of nerves, so that man is Cumming.

Oral sex. The feeling of sucking a man’s cock is evergreen. Even ladies know this. So allow your deep partner’s throat to face fuck you if he wants. You both can take turns in sucking each other off. Do not forget to show the balls some love, and sex is better when they are involved.

Hand job. Rubbing your partner’s cock can make his toes curl up. Hand jobs are better when you apply a lot of lube. It is better to stroke him slowly and then increase the tempo as you go. This will help the tension build and drive him crazy. Stroking each other’s cocks at the same time is also excellent. 

top and bottom meaning
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