Cecilia Miller is a lesbian love warrior and educator fighting for queer justice and ensuring every shade of the rainbow shines bright & bold!
Anyone can feel attached to or identify with a diversity of gender identities and/or sexual orientations. And as evermore definitions have been popularised over the years to embody the emotions and experiences of queer people, it can be hard to keep up.
If you are not totally absorbed in LGBTQ+ culture or the rainbow community, you may not appreciate these lesser-known sexual orientations and gender identities – most of which have a lack of representation in mainstream media.
One such term is ceterosexual, so we are going to define and cover what does ceterosexual mean, why the term is now preferred over scoliosexual, speak about the ceterosexual pride flag, and then provide some tips to help you become a better ally to ceterosexual people.
In this article we will cover...
What Does Ceterosexual Mean?
Ceterosexual refers to an attraction to people who are nonbinary or transgender. Transgender people are those that identify with a different gender from that which they were assigned at birth.
Ceterosexual people may or may not have an attraction to cisgender people. A cisgender person is one who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth. Ceterosexual is a fairly new term and may mean different things to those who identify with it. Some people refer to Ceterosexuality as an attraction to people that aren’t cisgender. Some people feel that the term only applies to those who are attracted to nonbinary people.
For the purposes of this article, and to encourage respect towards all members of our LGBTQ community, we will use the term “ceterosexual” in place of the previously used word “skoliosexual” (also spelled as scoliosexual)
Some people in the LGBTQIA+ community considered the term “skoliosexual” discriminatory and unnecessary. It is highly disapproved by the community because people who use it are known to fetishize transgender people. As a result, skoliosexuality is known as “tranny chasing”. The word comes from the phrase “skolio” that means “bent”, or “crooked”. This implies that nonbinary and transgender individuals are “crooked”. A term that is not as controversial as skoliosexual is ceterosexual, and this is what we use here.
Keep in mind that ceterosexual people aren’t the same as pansexual people. A pansexual person can be attracted to any gender identity and their attraction is mostly based on someone’s energy, vibes, and personality.
Many people also mix up the terms ceterosexual and bisexual because the term “bi” means two. Even though a ceterosexual person is attracted to trans and non-binary people, they aren’t bisexual. A bisexual person is usually attracted to people with the same gender as they are but this doesn’t usually have to ring true for ceterosexual people.
Ceterosexual Pride Flag Meaning
There are many different pride flags symbolizing most queer identities, so it should come as no surprise there is a flag for ceterosexual people to proudly fly.
deviantArt user Savvysweet unofficially created the ceterosexual flag after they discovered that their sexual orientation had no flag. The flag has since become popular and is recognized by many as the ceterosexual flag. The flag has however become popular and many Pride sites for ceterosexual people recognize it.
The flag has different colored stripes. Yellow is for nonbinary genders or attraction to nonbinary individuals, green is for third gender, gender-queer, other gendered, or bigendered people, white and black stand for agender, genderless, questioning, or neutral gendered individuals. The lavender heart stands for love outside gender forms.
Ceterosexual Pride Day
Education, visibility, commemoration, and appreciation are all critical in promoting global acceptance and acknowledgment of queer identities and queer folx in general. And from experience, we know it is easier for ceterosexuals to talk to friends and loved ones – and to feel the love – when a worldwide day for ceterosexuality is observed. Not to mention it also helps foster awareness and increased sensitivities from society at large.
So, mark your calendar and do something special (even if it’s just a social media post!) for Ceterosexual Pride Day next June 7th.
Other Ceterosexual Information To Help You Be A Better Ally
No ceterosexual experience is identical to another. You can’t tell whether someone is ceterosexual by looking at them, observing their personality, or their physical aesthetic. None of these characteristics can provide a clue as to how a person identifies, and this is as true for ceterosexuals as it is for any gender or sexual orientation.
The first thing you should do as an ally to ceterosexual people is to believe them when they tell you about their identity. Don’t try to argue them out of it or make the mistake of thinking you could know more about how they feel than they do. It could also help if you worked on your mindset. Working on your attitude means you challenge your concept of gender, sexuality, and sex.
After all, if you have any issues with understanding ceterosexuality, the root cause is bound in your understanding of gender and sexuality – not theirs. Educating yourself (as you are by reading about what does ceterosexual mean?) is an excellent first step to increase your awareness and not make your lack of knowledge in this area a burden on them.
There aren’t any explicit rules or guidelines, but here are some thoughts on how you can be a better ally and support a loved one as you discover what it means to be ceterosexual.
There’s no physical way to identify a ceterosexual person
There is no visible way to tell if someone is ceterosexual; all you have to do is listen and think. However, while the majority of ceterosexuals are transgender persons, there are also those who identify as ceterosexual who are cisgender.
This is a sensitive topic since trans persons simply want to be liked for who they are not, not for who they are.
So the only way to know for sure if someone is ceterosexual is if they tell you— albeit they aren’t required to do so either. You’ll also need to inquire about their pronouns, which is a great gesture to make for everyone.
Acceptance
Acceptance is the key to supporting an individual who identifies as ceterosexual. If you’re really interested in learning how to be supportive, find out how you can help. Before you get there so, make sure you inquire if they are even willing to answer questions. (It’s usually a good idea to start with Google.)
Another thing to keep in mind is that you should never reveal someone’s sexuality without their express verbal agreement. Celebrate with them, hear what they have to say, and support them the same way you would any other friend.
Some people avoid the use of labels
Many people who are attracted to transgender and nonbinary people may not classify them as such. They also have the option of not labeling their sexuality at all. And that’s perfectly fine! Labels can help some people feel more connected to others and remind them that they are not alone. Putting words to your emotions can make you feel more validated.
It might also assist you in describing yourself and expressing your emotions. Labels, on the other hand, may feel unneeded and restricting to certain people. Someone’s sexuality, orientation, and identity are valid regardless of how they define them.
The term means different things to different people
Individuals who identify as ceterosexual have a wide range of opinions on what it means to them. Some ceterosexuals may be drawn to trans persons exclusively, while others may be drawn to someone who is genderqueer. At the same time, you can be cisgender, ceterosexual, and polyamorous.
Being attracted to persons who do not identify as male or female is not the same as being attracted to people who do not appear to be feminine or masculine on the outside. If you’re ceterosexual, you can have a partner that appears to be completely masculine but is actually genderqueer. Maybe you have a crush on someone who appears feminine but doesn’t believe in the gender binary. You might be attracted to someone who appears androgynous.
Finally, if you identify as ceterosexual, it’s critical to be upfront with possible partners about what it means to you.
Never assume someone’s pronouns
It’s never a good idea to make any assumptions about someone’s pronouns. If you don’t know what someone’s preferred pronouns are, it’s best to ask them. One great way of finding out about someone’s preferred pronouns is to introduce yourself using yours. For example, you might say, ‘Hi, my name’s Terry and I go by they/them. How about you?”
This way you give them the chance to tell you what their pronouns are. In addition to pronoun usage, remember that confidentiality is a big deal. If someone chooses to come out to you, respect them enough not to gossip about them or ‘out’ them to other people. Not every situation is the safest place for LGBTQIA+ individuals to talk about their sexual identity or orientation, and gender identity.
