Cecilia Miller is a lesbian love warrior and educator fighting for queer justice and ensuring every shade of the rainbow shines bright & bold!
Anyone can feel attached to or identify with a diversity of gender identities and/or sexual orientations. And as evermore definitions have been popularised over the years to embody the emotions and experiences of queer people, it can be hard to keep up.
If you are not totally absorbed in LGBTQ+ culture or the rainbow community, you may not appreciate these lesser-known sexual orientations and gender identities – most of which have a lack of representation in mainstream media.
One such term is sapiosexual, so we are going to define and cover what does sapiosexual mean, speak about the sapiosexual pride flag, and then provide some tips to help you become a better ally to sapiosexual people.
In this article we will cover...
What Does It Mean to be Sapiosexual?
One of the terms that isn’t talked about much in the LGBTQ+ community is sapiosexual. Sapiosexuality means that one is only attracted to highly intelligent people. For sapiosexuality, intelligence is the most important factor they would consider in the search for a partner.
Most people, when looking for a mate, look at factors such as kindness, looks, their gender identity, or sense of humor. However, for sapiosexual people, these things usually don’t matter. Intellect is their first priority in a partner. It’s important to know that sapiosexuals can identify as LGBT or heterosexual.
Some sapiosexual people only identify with the term so they can claim a sexual identity that isn’t within the traditional boundaries of male/female or heterosexual/homosexual. The term sapiosexual appears to be more popular with the younger generation that interacts within the digital space.
While some people claim sapiosexuality as a sexuality or sexual orientation, there are those in the LGBTQIA+ community who say the term doesn’t fit in description used by people who are marginalized the way all other sexual orientations or gender identities are.
There are also those that consider sapiosexuality as a fetish for intelligence and some, go ahead to place it in both categories of fetish and orientation. In the end, the meaning of the term, “sapiosexuality” could be up to its intended usage by the person using it.
Sapiosexuality can refer to a preference for highly intelligent partners or a type of pansexuality where intelligence supersedes everything else and considers gender irrelevant.
Sapiosexual Pride Flag Meaning
There are many different pride flags symbolizing most queer identities, so it should come as no surprise there is a flag for sapiosexual people to proudly fly.
However, at the writing of this article, there wasn’t much information about the actual meaning of the sapiosexuality pride flag. The reason could be that most of the LGBTQ community doesn’t recognize the term as a definition for marginalized groups.
Some people even go further to criticize sapiosexuality as discriminatory or offensive.
Even so, it’s worth noticing that there are three sapiosexual pride flags. The original sapiosexuality flag has three horizontal bars from top to bottom. Its colors are dark green, brown, and blue. The alternate sapiosexuality flag also has three horizontal bars with the colors grey, pink, and sky blue. The other alternate sapiosexuality flag has two horizontal bars (blue and green) with an image of the human mind at the center.
Sapiosexual Pride Day
Education, visibility, commemoration, and appreciation are all critical in promoting global acceptance and acknowledgment of queer identities and queer folx in general. And from experience, we know it is easier for queer people to talk to friends and loved ones – and to feel the love – when a worldwide day for them is observed. Not to mention it also helps foster awareness and increased sensitivities from society at large.
As the orientation versus preference of sapiosexual rages, no Sapiosexual Pride Day has not yet been designated. But that does not stop you from marking your calendar and doing something special (even if it’s just a social media post!) for the queer community next pride month!
Or any other day of the year, to be honest.
Other Sapiosexual Information to Help You be a Better Ally
Plenty of people around the world- including heterosexuals have bashed sapiosexuals for claiming space within the LGBTQ community. While it may seem unfair practice, it’s also vital to understand where these sentiments stem from. For years, the LGBTQIA+ plus community has been the subject of oppression, marginalization, and discrimination.
Many people seem to agree that sapiosexuality isn’t a sexual orientation, but is rather a sexual preference. Some people have even rebuked the term as being pretentious and encouraging of ableism and elitism in the current dating culture. Most people agree that everyone wants to be with an intelligent partner so it would be obnoxious to assume that the need would only apply to a select few.
It is also vital to understand that anyone can be a sapiosexual. The term applies to both individuals in the LGBTQ community and those who are heterosexual. Here’s how to be a better ally to queer people in general – and how to communicate with those who identify with this sexual preference.
Understand that exterior appearance doesn’t matter
Not many people would claim that they aren’t concerned with the exterior appearance of someone they’re attracted to. Some people prefer partner’s that are taller, with different types of bodies, or looks.
In the same way, if someone claims to be a sapiosexual and only attracted to their partner’s intelligence and nothing more, it’s only fair to believe them because what they feel is valid no matter how much we may try to drown their feelings.
If you have a friend who says they are sapiosexual, rather than telling them they’re being dumb, it could be better to seek to understand where they’re coming from.
Allow them to be themselves
We all have different sexual preferences, fetishes, and needs. One thing that all humans are constantly looking for is acceptance and understanding. If you have a loved one that says they’re sapiosexual, it’s vital to take them and accept them as they are.
While some people might say that the term is pretentious, we should constantly remind each other that sometimes, we have no control over who we’re attracted to and why. Remember that sapiosexuality isn’t a choice but rather it’s a phenomenon that stems from the brain.
They deserve to be treated like real human beings
Fine, so the LGBTQ community has distanced itself from sapiosexuals saying they shouldn’t be part of their community. But this shouldn’t give anyone the leeway to treat people that identify as sapiosexual badly.
It is only fair that sapiosexuals are treated with the same dignity and respect that others get.
Anyone could be sapiosexual
Sapiosexuality isn’t a preserve of the select few. Anyone, whether gay, transgender, bigender, agender, or heterosexual can be a sapiosexual. It doesn’t matter what their gender identity is. Sapiosexuality isn’t limited to your math professor, or the nerd in the corner. People from all walks of life could identify as sapiosexual and that’s ok.
Parting thoughts on what it means to be sapiosexual
While people may claim to be turned on by intelligence alone, it’s vital to ensure that they don’t become vain and make it all about themselves. It’s ok for insights and sharpness to make up the factors that attract you to someone.
However, if you’re a sapiosexual or dating one, it’s always vital to be on the lookout for insights that could make you look a little insensitive towards other people.
