Diving into the kaleidoscope of queer stories, amplifying LGBTQ+ authors one narrative at a time.
Non-binary is a broad term for people not falling into the male-gender binary. Contrary to common perception, it is not a new phenomenon. There are accounts of Hijras, a non-binary identity, dating back to 400 B.C.! Native American cultures have accounts of the Two-Spirit people who did not conform to the gender binary.
Even though it has been in existence for centuries, this particular sect of the LGBT community did not get its due attention. It has often been swept under the transgender or dismissed as a phase of confusion. But non-binaryness is neither. It is a unique and complete identity in itself. It caters to a kaleidoscope of gender expressions falling across the gender spectrum.
It calls for a gender-expansive mindset. Non-binary gender identity can fall anywhere on the gender spectrum, be gender fluid or have no gender. Doesn’t it sound like the essence of queerness? Non-binary identity is the epitome of tolerance and inclusion.
We are glad that non-binary awareness is gaining ground. Better late than never, isn’t it? There are an increasing number of movies and books that feature non-binary characters.
We have curated a list of ten books that aim to shed some light on what it means to be non-binary in the current day. My voice authors mostly write these books. They are a collection of memoirs, guides and anthologies that will leave you better for reading them.
Many of us questioning our gender identities need all the guidance we can get. Non-binaryness can be all the more confusing because of its vastness and diversity. The memoirs and guides in this list will help anyone find their footing.
Coming out as non-binary is not easy; it is too often accompanied by dismissal and discrimination. Most of this is because of the internalized gender binary. These top 10 best non-binary books will help anyone, cis-gendered or non-binary, examine and overcome unconscious biases.
These books offer a comprehensive crash course on non-binary identity. Ready to dive in?
Don't have time to read them all? Why not try listening to them? Audible is a great platform for listening to audiobooks because it offers a wide selection of books, including bestsellers and exclusive content. With Audible, you can listen to your favorite books on-the-go, whether you're commuting, working out, or doing household chores.
The Audible app also has features like adjustable narration speed, a sleep timer, and the ability to create bookmarks, making it easy to customize your listening experience. Additionally, Audible offers a membership program that gives members access to a certain number of audiobooks per month, making it a cost-effective option for avid listeners.
A great resource for people who want to maximize their time and make the most out of their daily activities. Try a free 30-day trial from Audible today, and you'll get access to a selection of Audible Originals and audiobooks, along with a credit to purchase any title in their premium selection, regardless of price (including many of the books on this list!)
For ebook lovers, we also recommend Scribd, basically the Netflix for Books and the best and most convenient subscription for online reading. While they have a catalog comprising over half a million books including from many bestselling authors, for some of the books on this list, you'll still have to purchase individually - either as a paperback or eBook to load on your Kindle - due to publishing house restrictions.
In this article we will cover...
- A Quick and Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns by Archie Bonjiovanni and Tristan Jimerson
- Life Isn’t Binary: On Being Both, Beyond, and In-Between by Meg John-Barker and Alex Iantaffi
- Non-Binary Lives – An Anthology of Intersecting Identities by Jos Twist, Ben Vincent, Meg-John Barker, and Kat Gupta
- What’s the T? The Guide to All Things Trans and/or Nonbinary by Juno Dawson
- In Their Shoes: Navigating Non-Binary Life by Jamie Windust
- Dear Senthuran: A Black Spirit Memoir by Akwaeke Emezi
- Finding Nevo by Nevo Zisin
- In Transit: Being Non-Binary in a World of Dichotomies by Dianna E. Anderson
- Like a Boy But Not a Boy: Navigating Life, Mental Health, and Parenthood Outside the Gender Binary by Andrea Benneth
- Nonbinary: Memoirs of Gender and Identity Edited by Micah Rajunov & Scott Duane
A Quick and Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns by Archie Bonjiovanni and Tristan Jimerson
People with the best intentions slip up too! We understand they/them pronouns can be confusing. Hence this fun and quirky guide! A Quick and Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns is just that. It is a comic book illustrated and written by Archie Bonjiovanni and Tristan Jimerson. Bonjiovanni is non-binary, while Jimerson is cis male.
Despite differing gender identities, both felt the pressing need to explain the use of non-binary pronouns and clarify common misconceptions. In this book, they juxtapose queer utopia with queer reality regarding pronouns. They use myriad pronoun-related scenarios that non-binary folks face in their everyday lives.
This useful guide shows the ideal way of responding to and using pronouns. But it does more. It also tells you what to do when you make mistakes because everyone slips up. The authors emphasize that slipping up is not a cardinal sin. What is important is that you have the best intentions and are ready to learn. Many people tend to be confused about using they/them in singular contexts.
This book will clarify that once and for all. With ample examples, the authors make the usage crystal clear. They also dive into why pronouns are important and how they help a person feel seen. At the same time, they do not explain why a person chooses a certain pronoun. Because that’s not important. What is important is that their choice needs to be respected.
Albeit being a very short read, this book packs a ton of information. Makes for a perfect book for your next coffee break.
Life Isn’t Binary: On Being Both, Beyond, and In-Between by Meg John-Barker and Alex Iantaffi
It is appalling how much we think and operate in binaries. Most of it is subconscious; we have been programmed that way. But we can consciously choose to reflect and learn newer and more inclusive ways of perceiving the world. Life Isn’t Binary will help you do that.
The authors, Meg John-Barker and Alex Iantaffi shine an unyielding light on the binariness in society. But is binary a bad thing? Turns out it is. It can be very limiting and claustrophobic to have rigid binary notions. The authors illustrate how thinking about gender and sexuality in less binary ways can be liberating.
It opens up a host of new possibilities. But the arguments in this book are not solely about gender and sexuality. The authors also critique binary thinking in the contexts of relationships, bodies, emotions and ideas. They explain how the binary framework is harmful even to those who fit it.
They get trapped in those defined roles with no alternatives. What stands out in the book is the authors’ humility. They never portray their ideas and critiques as peremptory truths. They encourage the reader to question and analyze for themselves. The book isn’t about providing answers either; it is about questioning.
Two therapists write this book, and it shows. The language is kind and accessible. There are many points where the authors urge the reader to take a break. Questioning binary-ness can be overwhelming. The trauma-informed approach used in this book makes it gentle and witty. A must-read for everyone.
Non-Binary Lives – An Anthology of Intersecting Identities by Jos Twist, Ben Vincent, Meg-John Barker, and Kat Gupta
What is the right way to be non-binary? Not sure? That’s because there is none. This is what Non-Binary Lives tell us. This book is an anthology of personal essays by diverse non-binary people that will widen your perspective of non-binaryness. This book is divided into four sections- Cultural Context; Communities; The Life Course; and Bodies, Health, and Well-being.
The editors, Jos Twist, Ben Vincent, Meg-John Barker, and Kat Gupta, especially focus on the intersectionality of non-binary identity with other aspects of their life. This is a very useful perspective because the essays talk about the challenges of being non-binary while going through different stages in life. For instance, there are accounts of neuro-divergent people identifying as non-binary.
And the challenges of being pregnant while being non-binary. This is a much-needed, refreshing perspective. While representation is important in itself, it becomes more effective when presented in relatable contexts. The essays in this book validate and serve as guiding lights for some of us in similar situations.
The editors ensure that the author’s voice shines through in each essay. They do not steal the show; the individual contributors are the protagonists. This also gives us an insight into the terminology used by different people. You might not agree with all of it, but it is simply their perspective, and it needs to be heard.
The language is warm and supportive. The introduction by the editors emphasizes the importance of intersectionality. They also acknowledge the privilege they enjoy, which is a very sensitive thing to do. A perfect read for non-binary folks trying to find community and validation.
What’s the T? The Guide to All Things Trans and/or Nonbinary by Juno Dawson
What’s the T? The Guide to All Things Trans and/or Nonbinary is written by Stonewall’s ambassador and celebrated author Juno Dawson. This is a companion title to her best-selling book; This Book is Gay. In this book, she writes about being trans and/or non-binary with honesty and humor. The book is elevated by the beautiful illustrations done by Soofiya, a gender non-conforming artist.
Dawson breaks down everything you want to know about trans and non-binary identities. She offers valuable insight and advice on sex, relationships, coming out and more.
Dawson’s unmatched writing skill makes this a light, funny read, even while dealing with such heavy topics. The colloquial language she uses in the book only adds life to its pages. Dawson also includes snippets of interviews with non-binary and trans people worldwide.
These lived experiences add more nuance to the narrative. For the most part, reading this book feels like having a one-on-one conversation with Dawson. She does a commendable job of breaking down complex topics and making them simple and easily understandable. For this exact reason, What’s the T? can potentially be a transformative read for trans and/or non-binary teens.
The book is up to the brim with queer joy. No matter where you are, this book is for you. Whether you are questioning your gender, know you are non-binary but want some support, or are cis-gendered but want to show up for a friend, this book is a great starting place.
Reading an original, authentic own voices memoir is a deeply satisfying experience. It is like a warm hug on a terrible day. Finally, someone who has had similar experiences as you! This is exactly how Jamie Windust’s book, In Their Shoes: Navigating Non-Binary Life, feels. It is a memoir of the author’s life and all the tribulations that come with the non-binary identity.
The message is clear, being non-binary is not a one size fits all phenomenon. It is messy and chaotic. Each one needs to figure out what it means for them. Winston argues that this is a thing of celebration rather than apprehension. The non-binary identity is flexible and inclusive. The conversational tone makes you feel like a friend is talking about their experiences and creates a safe space for yours.
Winston encourages the readers to embrace their differences instead of being embarrassed about them. They strongly advocate for being proud of one’s identity and wearing it on their sleeve. Some of their experiences include sexual assault and accounts of fetishization of non-binary people. These are difficult to get through, but Winston has emerged on the other side in all their glory.
The book will surely take you on a roller coaster ride of emotions. There are moments you will laugh out loud. There are moments you might cry. There are moments you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
This is a great book for people questioning their sexuality and figuring out how gender impacts their place in the world. A great weekend read.
Dear Senthuran: A Black Spirit Memoir by Akwaeke Emezi
This is a poignant memoir written in the form of letters. The author, Akwaeke Emezi, writes letters to the people in her life and through these letters, we learn about her beautiful, bold and painful journey. Emezi identifies as a non-binary transgender and a small god.
She puts it beautifully when she says, “I am not a man in a woman’s body, I am just not a woman,” in an interview. She also identifies as an ogbanje, a Black spirit. This does not come as a surprise to those who have read her earlier book, Freshwater. In Dear Senthuran, she is unapologetic about her identity.
You might not agree, but you will admire her clarity and audacity. Her evocative prose keeps the reader hooked to the book. The book’s structure is not linear; the letters are not in the usual format. It is no exaggeration to say that this memoir is an immersive experience.
They write about the long and arduous journey of coming to terms with her non-binary identity. They also shed light on living as a spirit in the human world. Emezi confesses that they still face misgendering and insensitivity towards their identity. However, they have made peace with the fact that everyone will never understand or accept it. And that’s okay. Emezi’s impeccable storytelling is a treat.
This book is one of a kind because of the complex and intriguing identity of the author. Are you ready for it?
Finding Nevo by Nevo Zisin
This powerful teen autobiography talks about the author’s gender identity and transition. Nevo Zisin was born to a Jewish family in Melbourne and was assigned female. Exploring and embracing their masculine side has been a tumultuous journey for them. They have transitioned and now identify as queer, transmasculine and non-binary. But arriving here has not been linear for Zisin.
In this book, they write about coming out multiple times as gay, bisexual, trans, non-binary and queer. Zisin stresses that these identities felt right for them at that moment. They were not mistakes made in the throes of confusion. This is an example of how gender and sexuality are fluid, and each of us has a unique experience. Zisin addresses their relationship with religion as well.
We glimpse how they reconcile their faith with their multiple unconventional identities. Zisin’s lived experience as a Jewish non-binary person is very rare and seldom heard about. As someone who has lived as a male and a female, Zisin compares the two experiences. They share how men feel safer and more heard than women. Zisin’s writing is raw and unyielding.
The depression, pain and anxiety jump right off the page. Even when the story gets dark and difficult to read, their eloquent storytelling will keep you hooked. We are glad it does because this story needs to be heard.
An impressive resource list and glossary that Zisin includes towards the end of the book are very informative. All in all, Finding Nevo is a great read, especially for non-binary teens.
In Transit: Being Non-Binary in a World of Dichotomies by Dianna E. Anderson
Non-binaryness is a complex entity. It is a term that has often been misunderstood or camouflaged under the word transgender. It is high time that we understand non-binaryness as a separate gender identity. What is the history of non-binary people? If you want to find out, In Transit: Being Non-Binary in a World of Dichotomies is the book for you!
The author, Dianna E. Anderson, writes about the history and philosophy of non-binaryness. They combine academic texts with personal experiences to give a holistic layered picture of the non-binary identity. Anderson insists on creating a unique and truthful narrative for the non-binary community. Through this book, they aim to showcase and validate the boundless ways of being non-binary.
Through their writing, they bring out the delicate intersections of non-binaryness with the issues of racism, fatphobia and religion. The analysis in the book is very insightful. Even people aware of the evolving gender and sexual identities will have something to gain from this.
Many of us harbor unconscious beliefs and biases that need to be addressed, and this book is a great resource for that. It is affirming, enlightening and educational. Even though the author draws heavily from academic texts and history, the language is accessible to everyone.
Anderson ensures that it never becomes a boring read. They call on cis people to recognize their privileges and biases regarding the LGBT community.
This book provides a concise analysis of non-binary history. This a short and important read for literally everyone!
This book is a collection of twelve essays on various life experiences as a non-binary person. The author, Andrea Bennett, is a non-binary writer and illustrator. The essays are about the author growing up in poverty, realizing their non-binary identity, and being a non-binary parent. The essays are interspersed with interviews with non-binary millennials who grew up in small towns in Canada.
This is a very important narrative because the voices of queer people away from large cities are seldom featured in mainstream literature. Bennett also shares the unique experience of parenting and nursing as a non-binary person. Their take on creating an alternative, more inclusive word for mom and dad is especially interesting.
The intersection of parenthood with non-binary identity is nearly unheard of. We are sure this book will validate and guide many non-binary parents. Bennett uses irony wisely in this book. They write about being an atheist and having faith that life will be okay, loving life while fearing its shortness, and bringing new life into a world that seems to be ending.
The book also houses an honest account of the author’s experiences as a working-class writer in Canada and how they wait at tables even as their work wins awards.
Bennett is a capable writer, and it shows in this book. The duality of personal essays and interviews keeps the pages turning. This is a perfect book for non-binary parents and allies.
Nonbinary: Memoirs of Gender and Identity Edited by Micah Rajunov & Scott Duane
We now know that gender isn’t binary; it is a spectrum. It cannot be neatly packed into male and female boxes. But what does this mean in real life? What is it like being non-binary? You might identify with the non-binary identity or know someone who does. But the entire point of non-binaryness is its vastness and diversity.
So, it is only natural that there are as many versions of the non-binary identity as there are non-binary people. This book is a depiction of such diversity. In this monumental work, thirty non-binary authors share their experiences with gender and the rigid gender binary. The non-binary experience is informed not just by the label itself but also by race, class, culture, disability and more.
This book does justice to all these intersections. The editors, Micah Rajunov and Scott Duane ensure that the authors come from diverse backgrounds and that each of their stories is unique.
Juxtaposing the experiences of non-binary people from different walks of life gives an interesting perspective. Through these stories, the editors try to bring out the balancing act between biology, gender and expression.
As you might have expected, the stories are not all hunky-dory accounts of queerness. While the authors write of queer joy, they do not relinquish their struggles. Living outside the gender binary is not easy, as the authors candidly share. But finding one’s true gender identity can be extremely liberating. So why not support each other in being our most authentic selves?
Pick up Nonbinary: Memoirs of Gender and Identity for your next queer read.
